In the beginning....

I haven't dated much since... well, ever. That's not to say that I haven't had boyfriends... Heck - I've even had husbands... That's right - Plural. and yet, here I am back in the dating pool without my floaties.

Back in high school, when everyone was dating willy-nilly; I was all about serial monogamy. My freshman year there was J1... we dated for a year and a half. After J1; came J2... and yes they had the same name... and my relationship with J2 lasted... wait for it... a year and a half.

Then I went to college where I did a lot of "hanging out" with friends... guys and gals... liked this one guy who liked my best friend so I retreated into my hole and didn't date anyone for a while.

Then came "the ex" the first husband who showed me the complete opposite of a "good guy"... so I married him and we had beautiful babies. (2 to be exact) and then I left him so he could continue to date sleep with all the women he was already involved with (and had been throughout our entire marriage) and I took a break. I didn't date anyone. I was convinced I was never going to be able to trust again so what's the freakin point...

Then I met R... Ok, I didn't meet him... we had history. We went to school together. We grew up in the same town. He always had a crush on me but was too shy to act on it. He was a NICE GUY. So we met... to hang out... and I fell for him... and we got married. And now, 4 years later, I find out that he's been cheating on me pretty much from the beginning. Nice guy my ass. And while he "wants to fix our marriage" he's not willing to commit... and I deserve better so I closed THAT chapter... and now I'm mid-30s... twice divorced... both from cheating husbands who I gave my everything to. And I'm not here to bash them because that's their story - not mine.

Instead I'm here to figure out what this whole dating thing is all about... 20 years after I should have. I'll post when I feel like it... I'll share the ups and downs... I'll be transparent and honest while protecting the innocent and hopefully I'll figure this all out... If only I could find my darn Rule-book...